Concluding the 40-day Intention Setting Process: Ceremony at Stanton Drew Stone Circle

On Winter Solstice, the 22nd December, I travelled to Stanton Drew stone circle with my partner Nandana to honour and release the intentions we had all been working with together. In my hands, I carried the papers containing all your photos and intentions which have journeyed with me and been held in sacred healing space these past 41 days. Through these papers, I have been offering you healing and prayers throughout our time together, including sending healing every night before bed, when I often fell asleep with your pictures held to my heart. It’s been an extraordinary privilege to work with you all, and I wanted to complete our journey in a symbolic and powerful way.

When we arrived at Stanton Drew, we stood outside the Great Circle and called on all the guides, teachers, and wise ones to be with us. We prayed for each of us to receive the support and guidance that we need. We asked for help and inspiration in our journey of manifestation.

What came through very strongly at the completion of this part of the process was the awareness that the predominant element that holds us back from fulfilling on all of our intentions is our negative beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world we live in. The feeling was that actually, our negative thoughts about the world and others are rooted in our negative beliefs about ourselves and especially in our belief that we are separate. We declared that as we stepped into the circle, each one of us would be set free from these negative beliefs, and especially from the pain of self-negativity.

We entered the great circle, walking slowly inwards, and stopped when we felt the energy of the centre. Lighting incense, we offered it to the earth. Several times we tried to set light to the papers there, but due to the cold wind, we could not get them to catch fire.

After a few minutes we realized that the stones were calling us over to use them as a shield from the wind. We walked towards the North East Circle, a smaller circle almost adjacent to the Great Circle, and stopped beside a large low stone placed between the two circles. As we approached this stone, we were reminded of the purposefulness we had felt at Avebury a couple of months ago and at Stanton Drew the first time we visited; the stones have a divine purpose to support the awakening of humanity. They want to work with us. They have been created and empowered intentionally to serve this purpose, and we perceive that they feel deep loss when they are not used in this way. (This is particularly evident to us at Stonehenge, where due to a protective fence, the stones can no longer interact with humans on a daily basis.)

We crouched together next to the large low stone between the two circles, creating a windbreak. We felt held by the stone’s embrace as we lit the papers; they caught fire immediately! Calmness settled over us as the stone emanated love, stillness and unity. It was like a magnanimous father transmitting acceptance and unconditional love to all his children who are limited by their perception of themselves as imperfect, separate beings. We were briefly carried into a state of Oneness with all of creation.

Working with the stones in this way connected us with the Divine Power that is always waiting to fulfil on our intentions, and bring us Home. This experience was an intimate, sacred interaction; a small opportunity to fulfil on the divine intention of these magnificent stones. We felt their power and generosity transmitted to all of your intentions as they were set free to return to the Light. As winter passes and the light returns, know that your prayers have been heard, your efforts recognised and your hearts seen. You are held in Love.

Blessed Be.

Set yourself free to thrive!

As we enter December, we become profoundly aware of the drawing in of the nights, the approach of the Winter Solstice and the end of the year. All of these signify completion; the ending of one cycle and the beginning of the next. It’s the perfect opportunity to take time to evaluate the year that has gone before in order to set ourselves free to welcome the New Year with a fresh perspective. What steps would we each need to take in order to have closure on 2011, so that we could move joyfully into 2012, with love and clarity?

Getting truly complete requires radical acceptance. It is easy to look back on the past and judge ourselves or another, forgetting that the wisdom that we have now we didn’t have then. Remember, as human beings we always do the best we can in any given situation. It’s the mind that comes in afterwards and condemns or judges. The heart knows acceptance, peace and letting go. The heart has no memory, it is only present, available to the moment. Getting the past complete is an opportunity to open the heart and accept life exactly as it is.

There’s a lot of rhetoric about looking to the future and manifesting our dreams. However the unprocessed past, which we have left unfinished in our hearts and minds, holds us back from really being able to move forward in creating all that we are inspired to create.

For most people, forgiveness is a crucial aspect of completing the past. I have written about forgiveness before, and about how important it is to have the correct attitude of love, compassion and acceptance when invoking the energy of forgiveness. We carry the past with us because we think it tells us important information about the world. We cling to the past in a vain attempt to keep ourselves safe in the future. Forgiveness is simply letting go of the need to hold on to the old perspective. It is the willingness to approach each new situation afresh, trusting our inner wisdom and listening to our hearts.

So what practical steps can we take to get closure on the past so that we can be free to create an inspired life that really speaks to us of the fullness of our hearts? The answer to this question will be different for each person. What I have done in this article is put together a few resources that are designed to support you in this process. Imagine if this Winter Solstice could be THE opportunity for finally declaring the past complete!

If reading this article inspires you to deal with a specific aspect of your life, I invite you to get in touch to book a session either in person or by skype/telephone. One of the things we focus on in individual healing sessions is releasing the past, allowing us to fully engage all our energies in creating lives that really inspire us. You can also work with the resources I have offered you below, including the Garden Meditation which I have recorded to support the release of old contractions and the creation of new intentions. Give yourself the gift of completion this Christmas! There’s no better time to do it, with 2012 just around the corner.

Resources

1) I have recorded a guided meditation to support you with this process, it’s available at Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/charusila The script is also available below, for those who would prefer to read it for themselves.

2) A ‘ritual of release’ is a powerful way to invoke the energy of closure. To do it, it’s best to choose a night when the moon is full or almost full. Gather a few friends, or do it alone if you feel safer. Take a bowl of water in which the moon can be reflected. Create sacred space by chanting Om three times, or whatever other invocation speaks to you. Invite everyone present to take a moment to invoke the energy that they are releasing at this time. One by one, approach the bowl of water and offer everything that you are letting go of into the water. Immerse your fingers in the water and focus on the reflection of the moonlight as you make your offering. You may choose to speak out loud, or you may simply speak in your heart. Do whatever feels natural. When each person has taken their turn, offer prayers of gratitude before picking up the bowl of water and carrying it to the sea/lake/river/pond – whatever body of water you have available to you – even the bath tub would do! Hold the bowl aloft and pour the water carrying all that you are letting go of into the bigger body of water, signifying the Earth’s capacity to receive and transmute it all. Spend a few moments in quiet contemplation.

3) Another way to create closure is to write letters to Spirit about the people/situations that you are incomplete with and burn them, setting the past and the people involved free in the fire. Be sure not to project the emotional energy that gets stirred up on to any of the other people involved. This activity is not about retelling your story, but rather about expressing it completely so that you can see through it and let it go!

Garden Meditation Recording

http://soundcloud.com/charusila/garden-meditation-v1

I would love to know how you get on with this meditation, I found it took us into a deep space very quickly and the analogy of the garden felt easy and inspiring. Thanks to one of the participants in the Intention Setting Process for inspiring it :)

Meditation to enhance your intention setting process

Here is an offering for everyone doing the 40-day intention setting process. Let me know how you get on...

The meditation that occurs to me is a metaphorical one of gardening. Sometimes the garden of our mind becomes overwhelmed with the weeds of past experiences and thoughts, judgements and evaluations. At these times, there's hardly any space for the new and beautiful flowers of our intentions to take root and blossom.

Make sure that you have a notebook with you or some pieces of paper to jot things down on and if possible, find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed.

Sit in a sacred place and allow yourself to settle. Take 5 deep slow breaths and feel the weight of your body resting on the earth.

Start by imagining a garden over-run by weeds. This garden represents your subconscious. In the garden, all the weeds are the fruits of past experiences, thoughts and judgements of yourself and others. Walk through the garden and find a spot that calls to you. Gently start pulling out the weeds and throwing them onto the compost heap, where Mother Earth can transform them into incredible nourishment for the seeds you are about to plant. Make sure you take out the roots, use a spade or trowel if you need to. Some of the weeds might be stubborn, like brambles are, and need a bit of working. Take your time, take out as many weeds as you can. As you are weeding, write down words to represent the weeds - names, memories, qualities of behaviour and offer them to the divine. Let them go.

Once you have a patch of ground that is free of weeds, take some beautiful seeds and start to plant them. The seeds represent all the aspects of your intention that you are aware of, for example creativity, compassion, patience, self-love, abundance, partnership.... whatever you can imagine fits into your intention, plant a seed of it. You can have a love bush, and a patience tree, blossoming creativity... an incredible garden that represents your intention.

Once the seeds are planted, collect water and gently water them. Say a prayer to the sun to shine on them and nourish them. Ask the angels to watch over them and support them as they grow.

Everyday, come back to the garden and tend to the seeds you have planted, pull out any weeds that start to grow back and make sure the new plants have water and nutrients. If you want to, you could invite friends and loved ones to dance and play with you there, or even help with the weeding and planting!

If there are further parts of the garden that you need to weed and plant, take the time to do that. If you tend to a small area everyday, soon you will have an amazing blossoming garden full of everything you need to fulfill on your intention!

I hope you enjoy this meditation, I plan to record it and make it available to you all in the next few days!

Blessings and Love
Charusila

Inspiration for Setting Intentions!

I thought some of you might appreciate this as an inspiration for setting your intentions and how to work with it during the 40 days!

Question: I'm in a place where 15 minutes is a big commitment, but I think it is the medicine I need. Can you offer some tips on setting an intention? I am wondering how broad or narrow it should be... For example, do you recommend one focus on healing a specific injury or on loving and respecting the body's needs?

Answer: What a fantastic question! Because it's a 40-day process I tend to encourage people to go with the bigger intentions to leave space for all sorts of insights to come to the surface that otherwise might be hidden.
It sounds like you really want to focus on the body, so perhaps the activity you could commit to would be something physically nurturing - 15 mins of self-massage, a hot bath, a nourishing walk etc. It doesn't have to be the same activity every day, it's the commitment that's important.
Through focusing your energy in a loving way, you get to see what blocks you - old/limiting beliefs, negative emotions about yourself, patterns of avoidance and so on.
Once we have engaged with these old patterns and faced them honestly, it becomes much easier to choose whether they really serve us or not. If not, we can ask for support and divine guidance to let them go and create something nourishing and NEW!

Transform your view of winter!

We are rapidly approaching 2012, well known as a profound transition time for the planet.  This months newsletter is an encouragment for us all to harness this opportunity for inner transformation, for ourselves and for our precious Mother Earth.

Winter is naturally a perfect opportunity to dive deep within; it is the cyclical time for introspection and contemplation.  We have the opportunity to use the external darkness to facilitate profound transformation in the core of our being. 

In early November we have a powerful opportunity to spend focused time anchoring our intentions for transformation in our daily lives: 11.11.11   Many people view the 11.11.11 as a chance to join together for powerful prayers for love, peace, light and unity in ourselves and across the planet.  World-wide people will be gathering, creating a powerful energy and focus. For further information, check out this months Upcoming Events below.

With such a powerful energy being created, I thought it would be wonderful to offer something to help carry the energy of the 11.11.11 into our daily lives, ground it and make it fully available.  Therefore, I will be offering a FREE 40-day Transformational Energy Healing process supported with daily group distance healings and prayer circles.  To participate, I invite you to set a powerful intention for yourself and set aside at least 15 minutes each day to focus on your intention either through meditation, journaling, conscious movement or creativity.  The general theme of the process will be Responsibility and Self-Actualisation.  I will be posting updates on my Facebook pageand blog as I go through the process myself and offer healings to support you.  I invite you to share your adventures and breakthroughs with us!  Working together as a group brings powerful energy to our endeavours and the daily group healings and prayer circles serve to intensify the energy and intentions we set.  This 41 day process will carry us up to Winter Solstice 2011, putting us in a fantastic space to launch into the New Year and welcome the coming of the light (in the Northern Hemisphere) from an empowered and energised place. 

I would love as many people as possible to participate!  Send me your name, photo and intention to charu@charusila.com and we will journey together until the Winter Solstice!  I look forward to sharing with you...

Natural Inherent Wisdom

Have you ever noticed how amazing human beings actually are?  Small children overflow with innocent love and exuberance for life.  However, how many of us continue to express this love and exuberance into adulthood?  These qualities become hidden to varying degrees, but they do continue to exist inside each and every human being. 

There is an astonishing magic to the human race that most of us appear to have forgotten: an innocent, loving, joyful passion for life! It is at the heart of everything we yearn for, every act of creativity, each expression of true love and care.  Yet in our day to day activities, it seems like most of us are caught in a multitude of ways of being that are not in alignment with our natural inherent joy and freedom.

We can all think back to a time in our childhoods when there was no doubt in our hearts that we ourselves, and the world around us, were inherently good and pure and beautiful.  This certainty in our hearts is what I am calling our Natural Inherent Wisdom.  Some say that this wisdom is just the ignorance of childhood and that with time the child’s perspective matures, but I would like to suggest that this recognition of the inherent goodness and purity of life and humanity is the truth.  The rest is just ‘beliefs’ that we made up to deal with painful experiences that we could not process at the time. 

We all have experiences that shake our trust in our Natural Inherent Wisdom about ourselves and the world around us.  You can call these moments of disillusionment, though the term indicates that what was lost was just illusion, which isn’t what I’m saying at all.  In the midst of an experience where the behaviour or words of others clash with our NIW, our child minds create ‘beliefs’, in an attempt to explain what’s happening around us.  We give up our innocent heartfelt knowing of goodness and decide that this new ‘belief’ is necessary to survive.  But it hurts.  Deep down inside, we can never reconcile ourselves to this new ‘belief’ and thus starts the internal battle between knowing ourselves to be ‘one with God’  and believing ourselves to be less than, not good enough, deficient in some way.

So how does this process occur?  The simple fact is that it occurs because in the moment of the experience, whether that be something deeply traumatising or apparently relatively innocuous, our tiny child minds and hearts cannot process the intensity of emotional energy that gets triggered and we have no resources to communicate what we need to the adults around us.  Add to this the fact that the adults around us are also out of touch with their own NIW and it often appears that it’s the adults themselves who trigger these emotions. 

In the absence of a safe and nurturing space in which to release these emotions, and express our confusion, we suppress the emotional energy, and build a wall of ‘belief’ to hold it in.  The strength of these walls is dependent on the intensity of the emotional energy that they protect.  They become cemented, and then central to our experience of life.  As we continue to grow, we look for further evidence to back up our ‘beliefs’, filtering our experiences to see only the parts that validate these ‘belief’ walls.  We are terrified of living without these beliefs, thinking that without them we are vulnerable to shock and confusion.

So how do we release these beliefs so that we can get back in touch with, and live from, our natural inherent wisdom?  I would like to guide you through an exercise that can open up small doorways to intuitively sensing it and trusting it.  Of course, this process is ongoing. I look at it like a glass house where all the windows and doors have been boarded up.  There’s a magnificent light inside the house which no-one can see because of all the boards.  The owner of the house (you) has a sense that there’s something really beautiful inside, but is unable to find out what it is.  Every time you do this exercise, it’s like piercing a hole in one of the boards, or even removing an entire board.  Eventually, though there may be many boards remaining, the light which is inside is so bright, the boards become almost unnoticeable.

You start to see yourself as this natural inherent wisdom rather than as all the beliefs you made up to wall in emotional energy.  Of course, sometimes in this process, there will be powerful emotions that come to the surface and it’s good to be prepared for that to happen.  The more you can trust yourself and open to these emotions, knowing that they are not the truth but the energy that you could not process as a child, the faster the windows of light will appear.

Take yourself to a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for about 15 minutes.  Make sure you have with you a notebook and pen.  You might want to light a candle or do something to mark this as a sacred moment.

1. Choose a belief that you know limits your freedom of expression – for example I chose ‘I’m a fraud’ for the purposes of writing this article.
2. Ask yourself what happened that made you believe this? Immediately a memory comes to mind.  For me, it’s the memory of a substitute teacher telling me, when I was 6 years old, that I was stupid.
3. Invite in the energy of safety and love – this might be a spiritual teacher or guide, your highest self or even just the essence of unconditional love.  Bathe the memory in this energy and allow yourself to feel the emotions it triggers – for me it was shock, fear (there’s something wrong with me), embarrassment (now everyone knows there’s something wrong with me) and shame. 
4. Connect into what your natural inherent wisdom was in that moment.  For me it was carefree, joyfully creative, spontaneous and playful.  I knew I didn’t need anyone else’s approval and that I was whole, complete and perfect just as I was.  Allow yourself to get the impact of this.  For me, it freed up so much energy, I had to go for a walk and then for a run! 
5. Take a moment to recognise all the additional ‘beliefs’ and subjective evidence you had piled on top of this original ‘belief’ wall.  For me, it was astonishing to see how much I had convinced myself of this ‘belief’ and limited myself accordingly.  You may need to take time to tune into your sense of your NIW a few times over the next few days, especially if more emotional energy from later experiences arises to be released.
6. Write a few words that remind you of your sense of your NIW and stick them on your mirror to keep it alive for you.  You may want to share your experience with a close friend or family member.  Speaking about your NIW can help make it more real for you. The more real you can make it for yourself, the better!

Moving Beyond Forgiveness

How would it be to finally realise and accept your own humanness:  your fallibility, your struggles and challenges, your imperfections?  Wouldn't that give space for everyone else to be utterly human too?  We hear so much about forgiveness in healing and self-development circles, but do we really need to forgive?  What does forgiveness actually mean?

If we unpick forgiveness, we realise that inherent in any idea of forgiveness is the judgment of something as bad or wrong that needs to be forgiven.  Yet aren't we also encouraged to give up all our judgments?  How can these two things go hand in hand?  Aren't these two concepts mutually exclusive?

Imagine what happens to our internal relationship with ourselves when we try to cultivate self-forgiveness.  On one hand, we are believing the judgement that something we did was bad and wrong, and then on the other hand, we are telling ourselves that we are a good person: big enough to forgive and deserving of forgiveness.  It’s really giving ourselves mixed messages!

Last week I had the experience of realising that it was possible to recognise that something I had done did not serve me without making myself wrong for it.  I didn't need to forgive myself because I was able to distinguish that I didn't need forgiveness.  What I needed instead, was to acknowledge that the choice I had made did not serve my highest intentions. I also needed self-love and compassion to understand what limitations had held me back.

If this is true with something we ourselves have done, would we be able to apply it to the actions of others or even past events that we have carried with us?  So often we get caught in the trap of feeling stuck because something happened in the past that we are unable to let go of.  If I want to forgive you, I am actually belittling you by judging your behaviour as wrong and then being the big person, the one who forgives you!  It is in effect a power play, a way to strengthen our own egos, in the guise of being good and right and loving. 

In the process of trying to forgive past events, we solidify them in our own minds as wrong in order to cultivate the forgiveness that we seek from ourselves, from others, or for others. We are underscoring the idea that we or another person ‘should’ have done better. Is it not true that we all do the best that we can at any given time? We may not live up to the highest capacity that we know resides within us, but we do what we are capable of in that moment. If we drop the idea that we or others have done something wrong and ‘should’ have done better, we can investigate in a much more constructive manner. We can calmly analyze, with love, not criticism, why our capacity was limited at that moment, and learn from this reflection.

What does it mean to ‘move beyond forgiveness’?

The idea is simple, instead of judging and determining that a particular behaviour is bad or wrong, you simply look and see: did it really serve your or the other’s intentions?  Did it reflect your/their highest capacity?  Was love present in the choice and in the action?

Look for what you know to be good and loving in yourself or in the other person, and then acknowledge any limitations you or they might have – challenges from the past, insecurities or fears about how you/they will be perceived or whether you/they will be liked, guilt because you/they didn’t communicate as clearly as you/they would have liked, difficulty in expressing your/their needs.  For whatever reason, recognise that you or the other person were just not able to do any better in that moment. 

It’s all very basic human stuff at the end of the day, and the more we can allow ourselves to be fallible and admit our weaknesses, the more we can give the same space to others.

Changing Perspective: Letting go of your grievances

Wouldn’t it be nice if by letting go of our grievances, we could immediately and tangibly change the energy in our interpersonal relationships?  If simply by changing our perspective and attitude, the other person’s perspective and attitude could shift? This is indeed the case.  The power does lie within us to create that shift, that change that can dissolve a day’s worth of bickering, or years’ worth of mistrustfulness.  A positive intention to change our attitude is infinitely more effective than a manipulative attempt to force another to respond how we would like.  The essence is in realising that we hold the power.  It does not lie outside of us, in the other person.  We are not dependant on others to create that change, we ourselves can shift the relationship simply by being willing to let go and bring love back to centre stage.

What follows are an example and a testimonial demonstrating how powerful letting go and changing our perspective can be in creating a breakthrough. 

Example:  A friend of mine and her partner were having a difficult day, recently, and she confided in me that her partner had been extremely angry and reactive.  She’d left the house to give her some space, and was really baffled by what to do; they’d had plans for that evening. Another friend who was with us reminded her that she probably just needed a lot of reassurance, because they’d gone through a really rough time a few months back. She took the advice in, and realized, “yeah, she must still be really scared because of what happened.” After thinking for a few minutes, she called her partner on the phone. Her partner had independently shifted, and was apologizing for her behavior. “I know. It’s okay,” my friend told her. “I love you. I just love you..... It’s okay. I love you.” 

I could not help but note that as soon as my friend had changed her perspective, allowing more love and softness in, her partner felt that she was loved, and softened as well. What a beautiful way to spur dramatic change in our relationships. How inspiring to know that the power lies within us!

Testimonial: About three days ago, Charu did a healing on me that focused on my relationship with my father. I was facing a lot of fear of him. Charu led me through an exercise in which I created a sphere of golden light around me, a safety sphere that he could not enter into. With that protective sphere surrounding me, I played hide-and-go-seek with my Dad, drew with crayons with him, and re-lived other childhood times with him. Not only did I feel completely relaxed with him for the first time, but I also saw his humanity for the first time, his tenderness, his vulnerability.

            I felt a bit wobbly after that healing session. I could feel something fundamental shifting inside of me; it seemed as if something was sorting itself out in my subconscious.

            A few days later, I suddenly remembered that it was Fathers’ Day.  I hurried to call home. Dad asked me, “So what are you doing in London?” Panic started to rise in my throat, a familiar closing feeling. Dad doesn’t know anything about my life these days, and certainly nothing about healing and emotional processing.  But almost as soon as it began to rise, the panic dissolved, my throat unclenched, and a settled feeling came to my chest. I was able to tell Dad about the amazing healings I’d been having.  I talked about “emotions”, a word I’d not dared to say to Dad for years, and told him for the first time how incredibly afraid I had been for years after I’d broken my back, something I’d never admitted to. Dad kept saying, “uh-huh” really digesting what I was saying, and he shared thoughts and feelings from his side. It was astounding, yet the conversation was completely natural. I hung up the phone and stared at my partner with shock. “I have not had that open of a conversation with my father for 20 years!”

            It was clear to me that I was much less scared of my father.  Because I had stopped defining him as such a scary guy, he was able to not be!  I had given him the space to grow and to change, to not remain the young father of that scared little girl.  This is a profound change, a dramatic shift in our relationship. To think that I’d energetically been holding us static all this time, unnecessarily!

Practical Exercise:  This exercise only needs to take a few minutes.  If you want to make it longer you can, but sometimes it’s best just to let it flow through you, feel the sense of letting go and then move on with your day!

1)    Sit or stand in a comfortable position.  Feel your feet on the    floor and imagine roots growing down into the earth, allowing the energy of the earth to flow up into your body.  This will ground you and help you to stay present through the exercise. 

2)    Take 3 deep breaths, and with each inhalation, feel yourself drawing all your strength, all your power, all your energy from any person, place or experience where you may have left it, into the centre of your belly.  You can continue this for a few more breaths if it feels helpful. 

3)    Imagine golden light radiating out from your heart, into your body and out through your skin to fill the space around you.  You are creating a golden orb about 6-12 inches all around you.  This is your safe space. 

4)    Bring a person to mind with whom you have had difficulties.  It’s probably best to start with something relatively ‘light’.  Ask yourself ‘what was I feeling in that situation?’ and acknowledge that it is OK that you felt that way.

5)    Next ask yourself ‘what was I needing in this situation?’ and brainstorm ways that you can meet those needs for yourself. 

6)    Give yourself a hug!

7)    Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  Ask yourself what they might be feeling at the time of the conflict with you.  Acknowledge that it was OK for them to be feeling that way.

8)    Ask yourself what they might have been needing in that situation. Investigate whether you are able to support them in meeting those needs.

9)    Take some time to forgive both yourself and them and feel the flow of love between you.

10) When you feel ready, get in communication with the other person and see how the energy has shifted.  You may be surprised that they get in touch with you or apologise even before you have a chance to say anything!

Surrendering to the Feminine

This is an article I wrote for an e-book that will soon be released...  Details can be seen at The Goddess Quest Facebook Page

In many of the men I have worked on, one of the deepest wounds they hold is the grief and pain around the subjugation of the feminine that they have participated in in past lives and sometimes in the current life.  Deep in the heart of the masculine is a desire to be consumed by the feminine  - the feminine is the container – sexually the man enters INTO the woman, the sperm enters INTO the egg, the masculine exists within the feminine for the first 9 months of existence.  Out of fear of this desire and perhaps due to a simple lack of awareness, the masculine has historically perceived that it FORCES entry, that it is all powerful because it can over-power and demand entry.  The incredible pain that I think exists in the heart of the masculine is the deep underlying dissatisfaction of knowing that to really be received by the feminine, the masculine must be invited in.  Perhaps it can physically enter, but the entry into the sacred inner chamber of the heart of the feminine is granted only to those who seek it humbly, respectfully and reverentially.

From what I have seen, the masculine feels this pain and out of fear of this pain, turns away, thereby continuing to deny the feminine.  It takes a strong heart to face this grief, face the pain of the collective masculine and in a sense apologise for the ignorance that has allowed this wounding of the feminine which ensures that almost every woman keeps her inner sanctuary safe and secure beneath the charade of the perfect manicure or the dinner on the table.  What choice do we have when our hearts and bodies have been broken so many times by the ignorant, fearful masculine that chooses to cover its ignorance and fear with brute force and subjugation?

Whenever I work with men and this theme comes up, I see how confronting it is for both the masculine and the feminine to take down these habitual roles, behaviours, habits and fears and meet each other truly naked.  How can the dominant masculine come to deeply honour and recognise his desire to be contained by the feminine?  How can the feminine come out of centuries of subjugation to step into the power and strength of universal motherhood that is the essence of every woman?  These are deep and powerful themes for a couple to engage with, they will rock every sense of identity we hold dear.  What bravery and courage will we have to bring to the surface of our minds in order to take this journey together?  And yet, how can humanity survive if this journey is not undertaken, if these questions are not asked?

Perhaps this article is mostly written for men, to alert them to the themes that may be underlying their inability to truly find the feminine, but in truth it will take as much courage from the feminine as it does from the masculine.  Despite our nature of yielding, we are so tightly wound in our protection of our own divinity that we often miss it even in ourselves.  I would entreat the masculine, if he is truly sincere in his desire to uncover the sacred feminine, to begin this journey alone.  Even if you are in partnership, do not declare immediately your intentions and expect your partner to open simply because you desire it.  Be radically truthful with yourself.  Are you really, deeply, available for this journey, are you willing to meet your own fear, brutality, longing, mistrust and so on.  Are you prepared to discover the true power of the feminine, are you ready and willing to unleash that in your partner/friend/daughter for the good of all women.  Are you prepared for the changes that may come in your inter-personal dynamic, or the challenges that may come from the other men in your life who get a subtle sense of what you are doing and feel threatened or critical?  If the deepest answer in you is YES then I honour you, for you are truly a man.  And in your manhood, you will begin to uncover a mystery so sacred it has been lost to the world for millennia. 

The fact of the matter is, the Divine Feminine that you are seeking to come into contact with is actually within you.  What we as humanity are lacking, is this innermost connection with ourselves.  As you come into contact with the Goddess within you, you will subtly be giving permission to all of the women (and men!) around you, to come into contact with the Goddess within them.  This is a powerful place to stand.  Humanity can truly shift from the choices of one human being. 

The divine feminine within everybody holds a tremendous amount of power.  In Hindu mythology, the feminine is designated as creation, the masculine as the detached, underlying consciousness.  We cannot have one without the other, but the subjugation of the feminine essence for aeons is coming close to destroying this incredible creation that we are all a unique and magnificent part of.  This journey  is not simply a personal one, the need for it to be made is much bigger and the power that is calling for you to step in is not limited to your small, personal mind/emotions/desires. 

If the essence of the masculine is logical, linear, rational and controlled, the essence of the feminine is wild, free, uncontainable power.   The invitation of this journey from control to freedom is surrender.  But to what are we surrendering, and what must be surrendered?   In truth, we are not surrendering to anything outside of ourselves.  It is not an external force, not a limited notion of just doing what your partner asks you to do, or a controlling and punishing ‘god’ figure that we have to give our power and autonomy away to.  We are surrendering to our own essence, the pure consciousness that animates all of creation.  All that has happened, through the length of human history, is that we have built up so many veils, masks and concepts about who we are that we miss the bright, shining light in the centre of each and every human heart.  So what we are surrendering is these veils, masks and concepts.  We’re giving away all the clinging and attachment to specialness, separation, being right, even being safe!  We’re coming to a reckoning with life that magically and radically alters both the relationship with ourselves and every other relationship that creates our life.  Suddenly we don’t need theories of how to relate because we simply look inside and find out how we would truly like to be treated.  When we give up the notion that the Divine Feminine is somehow separate from what we already are, there is nowhere to go to build a relationship with it. 

I am not interested in giving you a list of what women want, or how to treat us.  I know that you actually know already, it’s just a case of having the courage to step into what you know, to step into what you truly are.  Instead I want to offer you basic, simple practises that can easily be incorporated into our daily lives so that we are not only setting an intention but actively doing something every day to reinforce that commitment within ourselves.  When we set a powerful intention for ourselves, we create an anchor that is capable of holding us through the storms that may come as we start diving deep.  Remind yourself daily of your intention, that way, if challenges come, you will easily remember the reason they have shown up and find the courage and strength to meet them with love and gratitude, knowing that they are the crucible in which our dross is being burnt off.  This journey may not be always enjoyable or easy, but the joy and peace of being that arises from an ever deepening connection with ourselves and the heart of mystery that lies within us each of us takes us to a level of fulfilment few have touched. 

1. Make a connection for yourself with a form of the Goddess that you feel drawn to and choose for yourself an image that you can develop a relationship with and invite Her to teach you.  This may be an idol of a traditional deity such as Mother Mary, Lakshmi, Brigid, Kali etc or you may choose a natural object to represent mother nature or even an image that reminds you of the formless, all powerful feminine.  Whatever you choose, allow it to be something that speaks to your heart as well as pleasing your eyes.   Also ideally, choose something which doesn’t simply excite your passions because you are attempting to cultivate a relationship that goes beyond the hormonal, and we all know how hard it is to really pay attention when we’re feeling sexually driven.   Once you have chosen a form to relate to, take some private time to speak or write or sit and meditate with the image and communicate your intentions.  Be as clear as you can be and become humble enough to ask for help.  Ask the Goddess to teach you and be willing to listen to the messages you are given.  You may want to get a journal to keep with the image, that you can write your intentions and questions into, as well as recording any insights and answers that you receive.  This is a gentle, daily process and you will reap great rewards with the input of only a few minutes of focused attention every day.  It will also help you to keep your intentions present to yourself, especially in the moments when more challenging emotions or experiences come to the surface.  Your intention will form an anchor that keeps you present and allows you to trust in the process.
2. If you feel comfortable and safe with the women in your life, start to ask them to share their experience of the Divine Feminine with you and REALLY listen to them.  Do not listen to disprove, to be right, to figure it out, to get a specific outcome.  Instead listen more with the heart than with the mind, learn to listen to what is beneath and between the words, listen so that the woman you are listening to knows that she has been heard.
3. Make a commitment to uplifting at least one woman in your life, without telling her that you are doing it.  This may be your partner, your daughter, a woman you work with or even a cashier at the supermarket.  Make choices in your communication with this woman that are about increasing her sense of self-worth, giving her a positive experience of herself every day, supporting her to know that she has value and unlimited potential.  If it is someone close to you, take active steps to facilitate her actually getting to experience those qualities in herself and being able to make choices that take her closer to self-actualisation – for example, supporting her to take a class in something that she is inspired by, or encouraging her to express her creativity or explore her spirituality.  Start to taste the beauty that you get to experience in yourself when you know that the twinkle you see in her eyes is there because of the choices you made, and beyond that receive the gifts that she shares with you willingly as she grows into being able to receive your unconditional love and support.
4. Choose one trait/habit that you know does not serve the feminine in your life and really pay attention to yourself.  Whenever you see yourself play it out, take a moment to find out what the trigger was.  For most of us, it’s something to do with our sense of self-importance/self-worth being compromised or challenged.  When we feel threatened or insecure, we tend to lash out (verbally, emotionally, physically) or withdraw.  The feminine is very sensitive to these movements even though they may not be able to communicate how they know.  When you investigate yourself, you will probably find that the knee-jerk reaction automatically releases and you become available and open once again. 

The thing about women is, even when they don’t realise it or actively acknowledge it to themselves, they are incredibly intuitive, especially when it comes to friendship and relationship.  This is why just simply making a declaration about your intentions means little.  The women in your life will feel it when you make a change and they will respond even if it’s never talked about consciously.  Suddenly you will find them sharing more of themselves with you or reaching out to you in deeper ways.  You may find them getting stronger and being more assertive as they sense that they are really, finally, being seen and heard for all that they are. 

Revel in this shift for it is a gift that reminds you that the work you are doing with yourself is really paying off.  Acknowledge these women for what they are sharing with you or the ways in which you see them growing, let them know that you see the shifts and that you honour and appreciate them.  There may be emotional wobbles, as they learn to be comfortable stepping in to the next level of their own power and authority.  Do not be afraid of these wobbles, they are actually proof that the woman is growing and blossoming.  Give them space, support and encouragement.  Fight for the biggest vision you have for the expression of the Divine Feminine in their life and gently remind them that it’s always darkest just before dawn!

Translating the Touch of the Divine

Translating the touch of the divine into a word, a sentence, a paragraph is an art indeed.  You have awoken this desire within me and now I yearn to master this alone.  No Mother Tongue can help me here, in Rumi’s field.  There is a rhythm and a Grace to these unfolding words that no language can contain.  Beat down this mind so effectively schooled and open these fingers to your softest touch.  Write through me into forms that another’s eyes may rest upon and in resting, your touch be felt like the gentle morning breeze caressing me awake.  Here there is no space for mastery, mystery alone reveals itself eternally.  I will fail and in the falling your wings alone can carry me home.

Let this life be lived as a gesture unto you, an eternal prostration at your unseen joy and celebration in this unrecognised manifestation.  Those who call you by name are mistaken, for how can one word contain the ever present celebration of life itself.  This wind, those trees, the aching longing of the wave to reach the shore, only to be consumed back into the depths.  These are a travellers ever present  companions, missed in a futile attempt to reach an imaginary land.  How beautifully dost the nightingale sing and the hummingbird flutter to catch your sweet nectar while we in all our intelligence build buildings to house You and imagine we can form you out of stone.  The idol and the dross removed both melt in your sacred container.

Do these words need editing, can creativity sprung from emptiness be moulded into a formally correct and grammatical structure or is it the essence behind the words that catches at our hearts door and throws it open before the warden has a chance to reach for the key?

Can music be limited to the notes in my piano, or colour to the shades in my palette? Can life limit the outpouring of your beauty with a few carefully placed grammatical structures?  Do these words touch you or leave you cold, can your eyes flow effortlessly across the page as your mind is transported to a forgotten realm where all that you imagine disappears as effortlessly as the darkness with the arrival of the dawning sun.  No other purpose exists for these shapes and symbols scratched in the bare earth.  If you dissect and analyze will you touch the mystery that is pointed to or will you focus on the forms and miss the space in which they arise?  Imagine this was written in black ink on black paper, no matter the effort the mind would find no partner for it’s dance of dissection, so put it down and let it rest awhile in the tender embrace of the hearts warm pool and then perhaps, in a moment, you will recognise the love in which all existence dances without end.

How do we share ourselves authentically in social media?

It seems to me that with all this social media available to us, it’s relatively easy to create any kind of persona we fancy and with the right ‘marketing strategy’ (or so they tell you...), anyone can strike it rich. 

But this is the challenge of our times.  To have the courage to go beyond the surface of things, to take down all notions of needing to wear a mask or needing to protect ourselves from the ‘big bad world’ out there, and realise the intrinsic beauty and goodness that is at the heart of every single being on this planet (and the planet herself, for that matter!). 

I have been thinking about this a lot, mostly because I know I have a lot to share with the world and yet I constantly hit against these places of conditioning inside of me that tell me it’s not for me, or i can’t do it or i don’t have the right message and so on.....

So much of what is available to us speaks essentially of how to have more money, as if we still believed the myth that having money was the answer.  It sure is nice, it takes the pressure off in many ways, and yet in other ways, we can really miss out having money – we can afford to book a hotel room but we spend our time alone and miss connecting with the angels we meet when we ‘couchsurf’, we can afford to plan in advance and lose the joy and magic of spontaneously being in the moment, because the universe is providing exactly what we need, exactly when we need it...

One of the gifts of social media is that we can take the risk to be authentic and there are some wonderful examples of people doing just that, but it does take courage and we have to trust that this is truly what people want. 

I was recently speaking to a friend who was momentarily struggling and he said to me ‘i’m just searching on the internet for something to give me meaning’ or words to that effect.  What we are seeking often is connection, love, relationship that really represents us, especially if we feel that our work colleagues or our family and friends don’t really see or understand the deepest aspects of ourselves.  The internet gives us a little anonymity, a space in which we can explore what it feels like to be real, to express ourselves wholeheartedly, communicate our struggles and our successes and connect with people who can truly share in both.  If we continue to mask up and create strategies, we continue to perpetuate this myth that we are imperfect as we are...

What we most need in the world today is LOVE and that always has to start with ourselves.  So i’m going to step in and risk what I’ve probably been scared of.  I’m going to write – whatever is there – authentically and wholeheartedly.  The clarity, the struggles, the suggestions and tips.  But i’m going to write it from the heart, not as a strategy, but as a way to give you value, because I know in my heart that what i’m learning is universal and can benefit many people if i can find the words to express it.  I invite you to join me as I share my own experiences with healing (myself and others), teaching healing, awakening, spirituality, friendship and leaping into the unknown.  And i welcome you to share your journey with me: write, comment, respond ask questions.  Let us grow together in the realisation that we are truly ONE being expressing itself in many forms

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Blessed Be